57

Zooted. Me and Ringo smoke way too much weeeeeed.

rest in peace 8100911614 <3
rest in peace summer
rest in peace steven's weed
rest in peace yellow thumbs up
rest in peace daily hash bong rips
rest in peace insomnia
rest in peace chops to the face
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614
rest in peace 8100911614

56

Thizz is not what it is. Seriously. No more for me, if I can last this time. Last poill had hints of DXM and LSD in it. Became horribly ill and discomforted. Im done. Take a note of this.

Congrats on me for fucking up my brain so much within the past year. No seratonin, damaged kidney/ liver, reality grows fainter and fainter each day. I wake up every morning feeling like its the end of my life. I'm definetely not a morning person. Instantly when I get up, I have the urge to kill babies. So much bulkshit rage and depression hits me like a train for no reason. I blame pills. I also blame pills on my faint grip on reality, which I can never replenish.

Il never ever ever forget monday. 8/10/09, 1:16 pm <33333. r.i.p...="(

Well I'm off. The suns starting to go down. Time for one of those late night seshes. I'm sick of pipes and bubblers. YEE. My cousin is such a boss for plugging me with the best purple shake around. 24 grams for $60???? 10 grams for $40???? Supply and demand MASTERMIND. I've always dreamed of having my own personal FAT supply of weed. Thanks to him my dream came true....for a while.

55

Yee. More than a week without blogging. Nothing ever goes my way STILL. But hey, lotsa weed in my life as it is. =D

Heres a list of some shit that I'm either tryin to say to 1 person specifically, or everyone as a whole.
Bong collection
Needing to skate because its been too long
Having to do the fukin summer reading and senior exhibition fagit ass shit
New phone
The 1 goal I was hoping to have accomplished during summer is DEFINETELY not happening. It was literally a wave that went UP around.....last month. and now its down to like nothing. Like I said, shit never goes my way. Life fucks me harder than Lily Thai.
What else....psh nothing but blazin up every single day. Damn, give me something to do. I'm done workin. Or let me rephrase that....I QUIT
Should I go back to Terra Nova? Fa shoooooooooo. =D
Every now and then I take out my old phone and read these texts I have locked in. They kinda give me that happy reminiscence feeling, even though it probably means nothing now. Thats just what I think. Who knows. I could be wrong.
What the fuk is up with those doses? Get a sheet already, I been waiting too long...
You lied to me
All of you OHS heads that are a grade lower than me are fukin idiots. You know who you are. I know I've done some fuked up regretable shit during that one rally day. Remember when I STD'd and my defense and judgement were really....lowered? And that stuff I did during the field day section of the day? I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I was drunk as christ and was wearing an unusually large pair of "beer goggles". If i hadn't of drank, FIELD DAY would have been different... Fuckin shame on me. Damn, if I could go back in time and kick my own ass....
Finally did it. Purple Butterfly for the senior picture. COKED OUT!! Wasnt even worth it.
Thanks for the super bong you fukin thief ass bitch.
I think I've smoked so much weed, popped so many pills, ate so many gooms, drank so many shots....that now my brain is at the point where I can't feel "jealousy" anymore. Like its the weirdest thing. Jealousy is an emotion that everyone feels almost daily, yet I don't feel it ANYMORE AT ALL EVER. Theres probably a big ol hole where my brain controls the jealousy emotion.
dont get skullcandy headphones. I got some maybe about a month ago. They worked good, I took GOOD care of them. I never fuked them up, or tangled them, or anything. and now they broke. No sound comes out of either of them anymore. FUCK

??

Unfortunate few days. I am the luckiest man alive. How often are you going to have a drug dealer get away with smoking a blunt in a drug free zone with a wallet full of cash and 3 izzles on him? It's because I'm smart. I am always 2 steps ahead of the cops. Fully searched, but they didn't find SHIT.

Free my niga Jackson.

53

No one blogs anymore. This here shows my sense of commitment. Maybe it tells you about me..hm.

Fuck today. So bland. Threw James some bud and hit the bong right quick, then went back home.

But TOMOROW though.....ppppppppppppssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Catch me in the corner of the room by myself tokin a bong to the head surrounded by drunk bitches. Thats how it is.

52

Ganja ganja ganja ganja ganja. Damn.

Afghani Grandaddy FTW
super silver haze hash FTW
Blue mystic FTW
Erkel FTW
My bubbler FTW

This Saturdays going to be FUCKED up. I need to watch myself..

51

Horrible day yesterday. Stuck at home on a bad trip.

50

It' weird how if your experienced with an endless stream of the same emotion, it becomes less and less intense as it occurs again and again. It's like my brain automatically trains itself. I'm amazed that a single human brain can do this, in knowing that thoughts are tangable grips on past reality events. All of it in reality is converted into a perplex system of chemicals throughout the brain that work together to create an illusion that puts you in a situation as CLOSE to what YOU THINK is reality. Never underestimate your 5 senses. They are your only geteway into reality. Or at least what we THINK is. If our senses aren't feeling what they're feeling, then what's really going on?

Damn, I've been on psychadelics for the past few days. Weed on a daily basis, but other than that, an eigth of shrooms yesterday, 2 hits of acid today ALONG with a gram of gooms and some drank. Almost imediately, I view the MAIN effect of the drug is that my mind is filld with overactive thoughts that are just so logical, that if ignored, I feel like a part of me is lost. My mind streams with creativity and reason. It's like one portion focuses on univevrsal analysis, while the other controls daily activities and its intertwined connection of what my brain is lead to believe is the actual reality. I've been way too occupied with my endless thoughts. Thinking about just what composes my life, what makes me tick, and figuring out what I'm all about, and what I can do about it if theres a problem. I'm on a quest right now. All within my own mind, which everyone can admit and understand I am trapped in. Everyone is.

I'm starting to view reality in a completely different way. Without our senses aiding us, what is really going on? We don't know, because I believe everyones sense of reality is different from one another. Colors are plainly identified with the feeling they are associated with. i.e.: blue = cold, red = hot, green = healthy, pink = female, etc...

Anyways with all that aside, I'm not doing too good. My dad's court hearing was today, still don't really know whats going to happen to him, and eh. Other shit. Just don't worry too much like the rest of them. I can think my way through it.

49

49'th post. Y33.

Managed to cop 1/4 of gooms. all of that is for fourth of july

Hopefully dropping tomorow. If plans go out the way I expected. Hm..

IF you see me, you'd catch me with dilated pupils chewing on my strawberry bannana LSD gum.

I guess my dad knows that I sell now. His attitude didn't change whatsoever. I guess it's one of those "if anything happens, its YOUR responsibility" kinda thing.

Damn. I have no attitude towards anything whatsoever. Feeling incredibly blank. No bullshit, but I stopped selling pills. And I'm going to take a long break on those.

I wonder if people would read a book that I wrote. About my philosophies and experiences from age 1 to now. All I need is Oprah to get on that shit, and I'm a rich ass bitch.

48

Got my hands on a peice of gum laced with 2 hits of acid. when am i gona do this thing????

As ringo says, i NEED a chop to the face after work. i think i got bank to get that covered for tomorow.

FUCKING BLUE BALLS! No point in telling me, you know?

47

It's amazing how much you analyze for the first 10-30 minutes after you wake up in the morning. The first thing that hits me is thinking about what JUST happened yesterday, during the day, ,and last night. Followed by a long single thought about my life. And something hit me when I woke up today from a night of getting tucked on nearly 6 grams.

Like I think about how people see me, compared to what I feel. Like out in public, everyone sees me as some happy ass little kid whos always high, thizzed outa his mind. Everyday where I'm out is always fun to me, but like at home is a different story. Think of all those pills I took my whole life. Pure seratonin releasers. My seratonin is at a minimum, and you'd think since its a general mental thing, you could have somewhat control over it, but i really don't at all. My brain isn't even done developing because I'm still so young.

Because I lost so much, I have like a different feeling than I did say a year ago. You know that feeling you get when your stuck at home while everyone is out having the times of thier lives, its foggy and rainy outside, and no one will call or text you? I have that feeling 24/7, even when i AM having a good time. Thats some fat seratonin loss.

So I'm just saying....I fucked up. Don't do what I did.

I sound hella emo but I'm not. Just trying to explain my world compared to yours.

Did you know THC temporarily exterminates you body's or mind's need for seratonin?

Damn. Saw a youtube video yesterday of some old ass German guy taking the biggest bong hits ever. He packed a bowl with 5 grams in it....no lie, and killed it in 1 hit. =0

46

hope, change, a perfect environment for yesterday's sesh. never thought so extensively before. more content than I've ever felt in my entire life. Hit me like a new amphetamine entering my stream. I hate patience. But its worth more than a truckload of diamonds.

All day, same thing. Haven't gone off track for a second. I check every 10 seconds for a response.

Possibility of moving in with one of my uncles if I ever get in troouble with the law, which SHOULDN'T happen by my cutty sly standards. 1 from the city, the other from Oregon. Flip a coin, and that's where I'll end up.

Oregon....yes I do miss it. Beaches were mundayne, truly a pleasure. All my senses were in total ecstasy. California doesn't do the trick, though I love it like a son..

What am I getting myself into? When did I become like this?

If you had to ask me why, it's because I'm broke.

After the water hits my back, I jump up in the act, and roll myself a 20 dollar sack. It's like that...

I gotta think about moving out.

I played guitar blindfolded today to murder time

TGIS...thank god for scotty

Sierra Nevada is what maple syrup and green apples want to be when they turn 21 years old.

What happens when I turn 21? Can anyone even picture me being that old? I still look like a wee lad. I honestly don't think I'll even live past say....35. UNLESS Jesus found me first.

Chillum......a little bit over priced, but eh. Over it!

Summer seems like a chore. I hate the library. I despise the 2 and 3 year olds crying during the morning story time. Why would they cry? Kids are supposed to love story time.

"I guess the story really got to them" - James Nolasco.

I saw this show last night on MTV or VH1, about these poeple in a library having to do painful challenged without making a sound. no screaming, laughing, nothing...What a great idea for a show. If i ever pitch an idea like that, would I make bank?

Pretend like I know you really well.

45

Imagine how my mom feels. She just had a 4 day vacation visiting family in Oregon. Just imagine how she feels now only to find that her son has all D's on his report card, and that her husband was arrested on a DUI (second substance offense withint the last 7 years) and is possibly looking at either 60 days in jail (no homo) or license suspension for a whole year.

Not our faults. Not one bit.

UGH....FUCKING PISSED!! FUCKIN FURIOUS (no homo), yet worried, anxious, confused, all at the same time??? You won't know what thats all about. It's between me and...myself. Has nothing to do what I just mentioned. NEW SUBJECT...but FUCK....anxious and worried as fuck.

everything happens for a reason? Fuck you Jesus....

I'm just kidding, i love you. But your not giving me that good karma that I deserve. I mean, cmon Jesus. Gimme like the smallest bit of luck. I deserve it.

44

Pretty interesting....went to a coke party, got blasted as christ, and idk. I was like gone the whole fuckin party. I wasted all my dedicated "before and after work weed" to smoke people out on. It was about a dub, just threw it in the 3 footer bong and killed all of it, plus whatever anyone else wanted to give me. Had 2 guccis on me, but didn't touch them. I was entertained enough watching the coke heads do what they do.

Haven't been this blasted in a LONG time. Not since I boxed a small ass car with 4 joints of straight northern lights...

Good conversations today. as of right now.

43

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42

Summer is horrible as it is. Same shit goes on almost everyday. Wake up early with only about 4 hours of sleep, take 2 buses to work, work for 4 hours, then come all the way back home because I'm usually in too much of a bad mood to do anything with anyone. OCCASIONLLY I'll spark up randomly with some people who are down. But overall, I don't feel like shit anymore. Unless it's like a full day to get up and do something, not a day where I'd have to work FIRST. Because after I get out, I'm just drained....mentally.

I wonder how convenient it would be if I had a chillum. Fits RIGHT on your pocket, and you can take it anywhere and spark up in the non cuttiest spots ever, and still be cutty. Scotty FOR SURE is buying me one on monday =D. They can't be more than like 10 dollars.

My report card came in. All D's.....I found it just laying wide open on my dad's desk. Apparently he already saw it, but I hid it anyways, so he could possibly forget about it. I don;t think he cares anymore. All I remember him telling me is "as long as you GRADUATE, its fine." So I guess I got all my credits so far. He's actually the one helping me out hide it from my mom. Even he doesn't want my mom to see my report card, because she over reacts with everything. I doubt my dad is even in that bad of a mood because of m grades. He didn't talk to me about them today. All I know is that my dad is going to be gone every single day for the net 3 days from like noonish until a few days after. I hope hes around tomorow, I need him to drive me over to my grandpa's friend's barber shop for a haircut. Kind of a slow bastard at cutting hair, but its free for ME. All I gotta do is remind him im his best friend's grandson.

I know I'm really smart, but the only reason im getting bad grades is simple: Being ON ecstasy in class everyday reduces the urge to get work done. plain and simple. Im gona just not make that same mistake next year.

My mom is exactly like that mom from Malcolm in the Middle. Except filpino..

41

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40

More orange gucci sales, more maui wowie blazing. Same shit everyday. FUCK WORK. Finna hit up 3 of these guccis and go spit game. xD

not even, i need the money. sorry, reserved, by the way. -_-

39

Minimum wage work, slangin smacks, inhaling THC.....just the usual shit you already know me for...

38

Skated again. It's been a fuckin while. I miss it. It's gotten to that point where I'd be so out o shape right now because of drugs, that I'd get dehydrated much mroe easily and I'd get a headache in a heartbeat.

Saw my son Tommy Lai today. Bitch came out of the cuts. I remember back last summer when this fool would have an eigth of hydroponic on him EVERY SINGLE DAY. Never missed 1 day of summer without one.

Fuck minimum wage. 8 dollars an hour!?? Gay...

37

What a dumbass. I shouldn't have written so early. Now I got a whole day in reminisence.

This summer I NEED NEED NEED to overstock myself with swishers. I'm talkin like a drawer full of it. Meanwhile James needs to overstock his refrigerator with fo'teez. Don't think were joking around though...

I'm thinking of like making a new start. Starting now. Because FUCK memories. All the memories I got of this whole year is bullshit anyways. Everyone knows it. It's hard to make the future better unless the past is just always fucking there. I hate it. I wish I could be like that guy in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But instead of getting like a girl erased from my memory like he did, I want an entire years worth of memories to be erased. That would be fantastic. And to me nothing is fantastic. Only things that are far more superior than essentials. How often do you hear ME call things fantastic?

No homo, I updated my summer to do list....If you don't wana read it then be my guest.

-get a new phone
-do acid
-do mollies at the mall
-overstock myself with swishers
-work for my dads band
-get long awaited footy
-fetch me a beautiful mistress
-hustle and stack my bread in an oranized manner
-don't fuck up ^^^^^
-reverse my whole fuckin mind around and think more optimistically. LIKE in the same state of mind I was when I was on shrooms. But this time, I want that mindset to STAY, and not last for just one night.

36

Half ounce. I was on the brink of passing out when we were only half way done with it. I wish I could show you a picture. It's all on my phone. 5 blunts, 20 joints, and aout an eigth for bongs. The vicodin in the morning hella almost made me fall asleep. How disappointing. Yesterday WASN'T a day for a painkiller massacre.

Summer starts today

35

Lasst day of school tomorow. The fuckin year went by so fast. Its either not that much happened, or way too much happened. One of those components just hella made the year go by faster. This school year was horrible though, if I could be honest.

I'm ready. Im fuckin ready for a HALF OUNCE tomorow. I told my dad money is going to a good purpose....so idk. Maybe hel give me like an extra 20 to spend on weed, because he knows I'm going to be more lit than he's ever been in his whole life tomorow. I'm strongly considering just ditching 5th period and picking up another dub 5 to add to the pile. idk. That would be nice of me.

34

got my drugs, ready to be the delivery cartel. Bryan will be delightfully surprised with his pistol..

Half O....It actually worked. Were getting it. Friday is going to be perfect. I'm still debating whether I should go to school or not. Because I really don't have to. Nothing is going on whatsoever. I'm testing out a red scorpion TOMOROW anyways. It'l be the last even day of this school year where I get to be on like fuck. I remember my first time hella on during school. Back when my tolerance was low. A pink dove, crushed up, chewed, and washed down with grapefruit juice. I went from feeling nothing to a second later when it started to feel like my body was going to explode with orgasm. I was more on than I've ever been, and it lasted the whole school day, from first block till about 3 30. Now in order to achieve that kind of feeling, I need at least 2 or 3 pills. No single pill ever does the trick anymore.

I can't get over how great Friday is going to be. James's house is about to be foggy as hell. Swishers, papers, bongs, pipes, and a half O. What in the name of jesus....

33

I lost A LOT of seratonin. I lost a lot of it and it won't come back. I now regret taking all those ecstacy pills in the past. I've gone way way way over my limits of commitment I made to take back when I popped for my first time. Back then I didn't know it would take on a huge part of my life, but it did. I rembmer on my first time, I promised to take only 25 my WHOLE life. Now im definetely somewhere over 80, with over 30 different types of pills I tried. It released all the seratonin in my brain, and then got rid of it. Thats why whenever I'm 100 percent in reality, I don't feel as good anymore. Back before I popped for the first time, the worst shit ever could happen to me and I'd be fine. I'd find a good way to deal with it within hours. Now like the smallest things that happen to me seem to piss me off....A LOT.

I think it's really good i don't like anyone right now. I haven't for a while. This year was a complete fail for me. I had 2 girls that liked me, and 2 girls I liked. It was all my fault with the 2 girls that liked me. I ended up hurting them, and I made one of them cry 3 times. I regret that...a lot. I feel horrible cuz of it, but I managed to sort things out with her just a few months ago. Now were strangers. Another one of the girls I liked lead me on for pretty much the whole year. And the other girl I liked played the FUCk outa me. I would of said she lead me on too...but the fact that we did stuff and fooled around plainly reversed the situation, so she played me. And she lied, cheated, and faked her way out of it to get what she wanted, and abandoned my ass.

I thought that was a nice thought to put down. it also summed up like the whole school year for me, because the paragraph I put above was prety much lingering on my mind ever since september...wherabouts. Karma is doing a fukin bad job. It's not doing what its supposed to do. I'm sittin here doing nothing, just trying to help, and these people I named in the paragraph above keep fuckin with me, and they won't stop. I never been played this bad before in my life. She went from obviously having a huge interest in me, to letting me go. And the other girl won;t stop spreading lies about me. She keeps getting more supporters for herself, and makes it seem like the whole thing is my fault, when I know, and everyon else SHOULD know it isn't.

Nicole Ticzon is seriously like the realest person I ever met. I'm thankful that shes taking my side, because she's the only one that REALLY knows the truth about everything.

So many people are going to hate me for writting all this, but I don't care. If anyone tries telling me I'm wrong, they obviously have no idea whats really going on, at all...

Just to let you know how nice I am to my friends.....Tomorow I'm taking 5 early ass buses to get a pill for bryan. He needs one for his sophmore exhibition, and I went out of my own way to invest in some thizzles early in the morning to help him out, because another customer of mine reserved the super pill that bryan wanted hella bad (used my uncles pill press to combine 2 vitamin C pills with 2 yellow pistols). I told you i was nice...

32

I need to re cop soon. I got customers. =)))

Fuckin hella feel like shit right now. WAYYY too much vitamin C mixing im guessin....my skin is like hot as fuck. It feels like a rod of hot metal.

Tomorow morning...FAT wake and bake.

31

I did nothing today, but still I'm trying to write like everyday. This sucks because theres nothing on my mind at the moment I want to write down. Unless the readers want to hear more rambling on about my need of drugs, responsibility, hate, and ecstatic dreams for an overall better well being of myself. Just to save you time, I'll skip everything.

But i guess I can do one of those "to do" summer lists because I've been seeing so many lately. My list is still in progress, and you will all hate me and be pestered by what I put on there, because if you know me well enough, its kind of obvious.

I appologize, but if you honestly wanted to know, here it is:

-get a job
-get a new phone
-do acid
-do a molly at the mall
-smoke my dads vaporzer
-strengthen weak relationships with certain people

Hanna and Mia think my dads hot....That thought just makes it harder for me to sleep at night. ..=(

30

I'm not failing any classes. =) Except for english, but I'm sure by the end of the year I can bring that up to a D. My math will hopefully go up. I have a 67 percent right now, but I hella fucked up on the final. But I got like over 2oo points worth of extra credit, plus I'm pretty confident I got a 4 on my STAR test, which would bring up my grade one whole letter grade. If I'm lucky as fuck, I could get a B from all that.

I just realized during the summer, I'm going to have more responsibilities than previous summers. I need to work at the library 3 days a week (on 6 hour shifts), work for my dads band every weekend for 60 dollars a pop, and take pictures for my moms website. I want to start some of these jobs soon so I can work towards money to get a new phone.

Picked up 2 yellow glocks today. Shit looks smooth as fuck. Can't wait to chew these bad boys tomorow. I hope...

Also need to pick up my eigth of caps n' stems tomorow. Wow, what a fucking adventure...-_-

I hate how Oceana is dry of pills now. I have to go through way too much effort to get them nowadays. Fuck my life.

SHIT HAPPENED at fuckin BAM.....I mean, I wasn't there, but I heard some shit went down. =0 . Can't we all just get abong? Pop a pill and solve our differences?

I'm also happy the school year is almost over. Everyone is starting to be a fuckin dick now. Right now is like the time where everyones just startin to get sick of eachother. 9 months of the same people every day on and on....tensions spread near the end. I always notice that.

29

zooted.

School years almsot over. Tryna find something to be on that will make me go back in time. xD

Penny is cute. She called me randomly today. That made my day. xD

My room isnt clean

28

Painkiller Massacre....very entertaining.

Shrooms are NOT about visuals....just because there THERE doesn't mean thats all you can expect. Its not about the visuals, not much at all, its about the THOUGHTS that fill your head, and the mindset it puts you in. Learn more from me, think before you act..

-_-

27

I skated today for the first time in like....2 months almost. and I didn't lose SHIT. =D . I'm happy I didn't. How relievefull. Is that a word?

I remember I was watching the news one time at Mcdonalds with James and Andrew, and it showed a survielance video on a bus of this guy, who got on the bus, and then with no reason at all, he walked onto the bus, payed his fee, and then imediately sucker punched a 90 year old blind woman sitting in te front of bus. It was for no apparent reason at all, and extremely random. That video made me think. Like what has this world come to? Was this guy hefed up on goofballs? Or did he do it as a dare? It's a great example of social Darwinism, but a little more extreme.....

And yea, the video did make me laugh....BUT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME! I was shocked too, so its all good.

Today was aright

26

I wok up this morning and my room was spinning around. Yesterday I was so tucked, most of the day was a blur. Its a sunday, usually I clean my room on Sundays. Ima try and sneak in a blaze today with someone somehow. If not I just got resin hits and I'll box my room.

It's weird how with me, being in certain situations or in certain environments would make me miss a certain person, for specific reasons. Seomtimes I get it at home, sometimes I get it when I'm hungry, anything could happen. I hate my phone, it has SO many bad memories. I jsut hate it. And the buttons on the outside don't even work. Whenever someone I don't even know asks to use my phone, I have to like give them instructions on how to dial from the inside, and how to talk on it. Usually when I tell someone, Im tucked like jesus and its even hard for me to tell them how.

I think during the summer Im gona have to do A LOT of work. For my dad's band and mom's website. I'm hella dumb for not getting a job earlier. I forgot that jobs get picked so quickly. I'm just happy that working for my dad's band for 3 months will look good on my resume. My dad's band also has a volcano vaporizer bag thing too. I can hop on that for free. =)

I miss the way these 2 specific poeple USED to be. I'm literally jsut sitting here waiting until they change back instead of damaging things more by critisizing.

I gota cut my hair. Maybe tomorow if I don't have shit to do.

Deep conversations with Nicole Ticzon ARE the best. =D

Mia says that she thinks I'm one of the only three attractive guys at oceana. no homo. My self confidence is...........up? i guess? XD!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHA.

Whoo boy, after conversating for a while, it seems I been played an cheated by ANOTHER girl who I really didn't expect. How horrible. I also love how I was watching That 70's Show, and I took a song right from the show and put it on my page. And the song coincidentally perfectly describes this person I'm talkin about. Peep at that motherfuckin game. xD

25

Friday was both horrible AND the best day of my life. Early in the day was bad, and I was fuckin hurt for a while. Then that STD started to kick in in ther second half of the day. On the harvest fair, I was drunk as tits, and when rally started I was ON like donkey kong. Yellow pistols for the fucking win...Mia gave me another after school. Somehow I ended up at Tanforan, thizzin balls walking around with Nicole and Mia. Great time..

I have to thank alaina and Nicole for helping me through what I have to deal with right now. This is like a devastating section of my life, and they really DO help.

24

I don't really know what I NEED right now. Theres like an endless lists of non material things that are in need for my self fullfilment. I know each has it's down and it's up.

A really big relief in stress surprisilngly has been socialising with people I don;t know. Theres this one guy whos in a few of my classes who used to always label me as like a bad influence or a druggie, but today I showed him theres a lot more to myself, and this label he had for me just disappeared. He acted like I was jsut a regular guy he was just meeting for the first time. Hella chill and whatnot. That itself made me feel more content and optimistic for some reason, I have no idea why. And i also don;t see why all the kids at school in MY grade are all the ones who label me and see me differently. It just feels great to show to some peopel that I have much more to my personal lifestyle than just illegal substances. I do a lot of stuff. Compared to the other classes, the junior class seems to be the most success oriented, drug protesters on the entire campus. Theres just me, james, and the rest of the juniors who I let fall under one huge category. Thats the class of 10' for you...

for the past few MONTHS I've been officially on something illegal. Since you know....THC stays in ur fat cells for weeks up to a month, mine has just an endless supply of self stored THC. For too long now, I've been like miles away from reality. Whenever I reach like a foot or two away from being back, I jsut throw myself back a few miles. I disappoint myself, but i HATE reality. I wonder what it would be like. To just like....come to reality for a little while, like full 100 percent, mind funcioning in nostalgy. I can just imagine at myself, looking around, thinking about all the shit thats been goin on . How would that be?

STD tomorow. I appologize in advance for what I'm about to do. MUST stay sober for the math final though. I'm not trying to fuck around.


I need to skate again soon, its been a while. I just looked at some pics of me skatin in like the past year or so, and I really DO miss it. It was like my mental sancuary, where like all my thoughts could be secure. We'll see what happens this weekend though. I'm not really down to being back in 100 percent reality. JUST YET.

I wish I could put more thoughts down, but I don't know what else to say at this point. I fuckin miss my favorite sweater and favorite t-shirt. I'm starting to think it was a huge mistake to have given it to.....yeah. Nevermind. I don't wana talk about it.

WHASS GOOOOOOD?

23

Wat it doooooooo??? My life is fuckin horrible. Red Maples SUCK. I'm layin off the handles for a while. Only reason for today was that I'm offered, and what did you expect me to do?

I want a new phone. My phone has like bad memories and shit. I'm tryna sell this peice of dick. 60 upfront for a working LG ENV2. I know it turns on and off by itself, but trust me, all of them do. This kept happening when I first got it, and I know like 10 other people with the same phone and they say the same thing.

I haven't come home sober in several, several months. Homelife is has been much mroe interesting lately. Conversations with my dad are much more smooth, cuz number one, he dosn't care, and nubmer two, he's been in a great mood lately. Haha, I wish I was him. He has like no worries or stress. His life right now is like completely layed back, optimistic about future, everything. His health is great, no stress at work, hes good. For christ's sake, he plays in a band for a living and just smokes a lot of weed with the band members. IM HELLA EXCITED TO GET THAT JOB! =D

I'd love to sit here and just write whats on my mind.........................................................................................................................................................but thees honestly nothing on it right now. And I love it like that. =D

22

Fuckin worst day ever.

Don't even mention the drinking, I got fuckin smashed and it barely lasted long. At break I was just stumbling around with an aching stomach. Not like when im high and I think about liufe, trust me, I did, but everything seemed so pessamistic. I thought of the people who are IN my life, and what I thought of them, then I looked at them then and saw how much of a fake ass bitch they are to me. All of them, not just 1. I just looked around, and I saw seeing a lot of shit i DIDNT WANT to see. I don;t understand some people. They just....they just fucking change. I wish there was something I could do about it, but idk.....I cant fcking control minds. I really have no idea what she thinks she is. I can't wait til they realize theyre the fucking wrong ones. If only you saw it in my point of view, you would definetely agree with me.

My dad found out i stole his liquor, so im 50 bucks down.....fucking great. If my mom found out id get my ass beat plus anohter 100 bucks down. Apparently the drinks i stole were souveneir bottles from russia or some shit. my dad was also pissed cuz i told him i didnt driank at all, just smoked weed and did shrooms.

im waiting for the day to get worse. I'm at home now, and I'm just seeing what comes next. I'm fucking blazed as hell off of like 6 joints, so honestly, I don't really give a fuck whats going on right now, and I love it.

Fuck you though....seriously. After all I've done for you. I mean, come on..and I don't even get any credit.

YOU ARE FUCKING PATHETIC. haha, i really have no idea why you would get mad at me when i didn't do anything at all and you were the one who changed on me all of a sudden. you act like you have THE reason to be mad, not me..

21

I noticed how many people I thought I knew these days are like really independent and just plain disloyal to me. I don't know why, people just change. And it somehow shocks me to see them different just out of the blue when I thought I knew them. What the fuck? You know who you fuckin are.

Plainly I forgot about the whole mess with 2 joints. Now I'm home, fucking sober as balls, brewin up some liquor for tomorow. Y333. Night out on the town with a fuckin handle. =D

I've decided to gett an LG Dare. I'd rather have a blackberry storm, but I would never afford that. -__- . I got the money, but I need the time.

And seriously though, if anyone wants an env2...dont get it. The buttons break on the outside and the phone turns itself off all the time. Even brand new ones that have never been touched do all of that. So basically, my env2 is like brand new, but with scratches on it. I'll sell the peice of dick for 60. The whole phone and charger and everything, all boxed up, for 60. >=(

LIQUOR FOR TOMOROW!!! =DDD

20

1 blunt, 5 joints to the head, 2 bowls, gabis house, mias house, tees house. home. too lazy to write details. An OK way to spend the weekend. I've been tokin since.

My job interview got canceled, I guess I'm goin to go do that some other day.

I need a new phone. Fuck, for that matter, theres a big list of stuff that I need to get soon...

19

Zooted.

I never appreciated being drunk as much before today. I brewed up my own concoction last night. I filled a snapple bottle about 1/10 of strawberry juice, and the other 9/10 with bacardi gold rum. I used a shotglass and took as much as I could in the morning. I ended up with 5 shots before i was stumbling around, feeling GREAT. I talked extremely loud and fucked around thinking that what I was doing was fine. Today was senior exhibition today, and I imidiately got sent out of my first class for being a little bastard.I killed the rest of my drink at lunch, and was just gone.

Blazed after school, had a little more than an eigth. I was hoping to have a night out on the town with a handle and quarter O, but that didn't happen. I came home baked as fuck and my mom tried talking to me about this place she wants to send me away to for a week during the summer. She said it will make up fo all the hours of community service I slacked off on, and she thinks I deserve it as a punishment for like everything I've done. I'm still trying to fight this and not go, I need my dad to back me up. I know he wants me having a normal summer. I have a job interview with his ban tomorow about the hauling job. It would loo good on my resume, and its 60 bucks a pop.

monday = painkiller massacre
teusday = more liquor

18

Theres nothing like a good buzz to last you mildly throughout the day. Props for dad for throwing me a 5 sack. He said whatever I do, don't do it before or during school, but of course I couldn't promise that.

I feel the same. I thought that shroom experience last weekend would bring some enlightenment that would follow me for the rest of my life. But it didn't. It's the weirdest thing. Because at the time, I really felt like I was down for anything. I was down for life, no matter what the fuck happens. But I don't know....it was like I was so far away from reality, I thought I was going to come back in it with all my philosophies. Reality is horrible. It's boring and theres like a thousand things about it that bothers me. I gotta stay away from it.

Something tells me if I get into a relationship, about 20-30 percent of my problems would be over with. I still gota deal with getting a job, staying OUT of thorton, etc etc etc...

I'm deciding to bite off Adrew and share what gives me simple pleasures...

-sparking a joint I just rolled
-coming home and petting my cat's head as he stretches from taking a nap
-walking into my clean ass room and turning on the tv
-listening to my ipod as I walk to my bus stop
-getting a txt that I've been waiting for a while
-seirra nevada beer
-her, the way she USED to be to me. Before she changed. She used to define all my happiness and now its just getting worse and worse as the days go on. It seems like if it went on for any longer, we'd be back to being strangers.

17

I don't know whether or not today was worth writting about or not.

This is my second experience with DXM. I took like 120 mg of DXM in the morning, and another 60 at lunch. My whole body buzzed like a fucked up thizz. After a while, I felt like yacking so bad. I kept fighting it by taking deep breaths and swallowing really fast. I wasn't down to yack all over Ms Hughe's floor. I probly wouldn't have yacked outside cuz everytime i got outa my desk, I would fall to the ground becasue I was so uncoordinated. I fell outa my chair like 4 times in photography. Everytime I would get up outa my chair, my balance would shift to a completely different side. Good thing Mr. Berry didn't see me fall, he would have snitched me out. My pupils were slowly getting bigger and bigger. All the seniors kept coming up to me and asking me "how is it? It's the best trip ever, right?". Triple C's aren't for me. I know I'm gona feel fucked up tomorow. The whole entire day I was extremely dizzy, naucious, confused, and i dont know....everything else in between. Ever since english class this morning all the way up to now, I was dreaming. This whole day was a dream. Even though i felt like shit and yacking every half hour, I loved being far far far away from reality, and I always do.

Humans are a fucking stupid race, even though we progress more than any other species. This is an example of social darwinism. When a chemical like DXM is introduced to the human body, the mind alters thier perception of the drug and sees it as recreational, when normally it is used as a cough supressant. When takin in higher doses, it causes euphoria, hallucinations, disconnection from body, etc..... Since this shit was made in labs, my dad wouldn't be proud of me this time..XP.

Today was just one big forgetable blur.

ANd I just found out that during the summer, my mom is sending me away for a week to go to some counselors thing in santa cruz. dont ask, man...

16

For yesterday...

Me and James attempted to go on a quick quest to get high, but failed. We ended up at Tristan's house waiting for Andrew. Andrew came and brought a bag full of big ass shrooms. I took an eigth for myself, plus some of Tristan's. I ate them fast and just waited for them to hit.

All of a sudden my visuals were going crazy. I never took this much shrooms before. My vision was intense. Colors were extremely bright and vibrant. Lights were extra bright, and everything had a crazy wavy trail following it. I had a fun time looking at myself in the mirror on several occasions. My face would morph, my eyes would grow farther apart and the sides of my cheecks would stretch and indent. I looked into my own pupils and they were bigger than ever. They looked like massive black holes I could fall into.

Everytime I looked in the mirror and stared at myself, it looked like I was staring at a completely different person. It was because at this time, I didn't know who I was anymore. Almost all the thoughts about my own personal life were gone. Every memory I had was just a memory. It felt like I was dead, and I could just look at all the little things that happened in my life, and accept that fact that everything happened and past events were all gone. I had a sense of self satisfacoty for nothing. I accepted everything. I looked in the mirror and realized how fuckin ugly I am. Not because of the wavy shroom patterns, like in general, my face is fucked up. But at this moment in time, I accepted it, and my mind somehow convinced myself that I'm somehwat attractive. Even though I know I'm not.

Everytime I closed my eyes, I would get intense visuals that I could fall into and stay there forever. Patterns would form in m head, and 3d environments would come together, and my mind would just have a sensation of falling into it. As if I were in a different place. My body then felt completely numb. Every movement of my limbs was prety much unoticable. It felt like no matter what happens to any part of my body, my mind is just accepted of it. I could go through intense physical pain, and I wouldnt even notice it. My body felt like it was filled with numbing nitrous oxide. Kinda like that stuff they give you at the dentist.

Soon after the visuals, crazy, yet logical thoughts filled my head. While realizing all these visuals, me and James were going on and on about telling Andrew and Tristan our theories. I reflected my experience of personal life and how it intertwines with reality, UNreality, and the unfolding of the univers. My mind actually felt like it was wandering the universe alone, searching for answers. I kept asking why, and never stopped with unlimited reasoning. It felt like the only way to proceed with life is to ask more questions. I thought A LOT about personal life. I couldn't believe my life was my life. I couldn't believe anything. Everything was just so now to me, and my eyes were finally open. I had an intense feeling of being born again, and considered this shroom trip to be my first major religious experience.

I examined EVERYTHING that is transparent to my life and actual reality. I loved the fact that I was so far from reality at this point. My visuals were still peaking until the night time. Time passed so unbelievably quick that I forgot that time was a neverending moving thing. I was too busy analysing life and reality that time seemed like it could just stand still, yet it never does. Theres no such thing as a presesnt time, because time can only be divided into past and future. Present is supposed to be used to explain whats going on at the moment, but since we can't stop time and it always moves, there is a divided sude of past and future.

It seemed like everything I thought about in my life was all a made up story, or a dream. Everything that ever happened to me, all the people I met, seemed like pictures in a book to me, and I was just reminiscing. Not just remeniscing, but more like summarizing my feelings towards every little event I went through. I was so far away from reality at this point. I began thinking more, and realized there was a positive outcome for EVERYTHING. Pills fuck me up, because it intensifies any emotion I have. And everytime I pop, my mood can shift to a bad one so easily, and I can see the bad side to anything. But during this shroom trip, I was positive outcomes for almost everything. No matter how bad a situation might seem, I saw light and optimistic results. Everything seemed good to me.

I had a completely different outlook on life, reality, and the invisible line that seperates them two. When I was tripping, that lines seemed to deteriorate, and I explored both sides. I love not being in reality, and on this trip. I was analyzing everything. In my life. I never looked at myself the same way again. I had so many philisophical thoughts that seemed to make perfect sense to me. If only I still thought that way. But this mornin when I woke up, I was sober again. All those magnificant thoughts that made sense to me seemed to drift away. I don't feel the same way I did when I thought of all my reasoning. I was sure to bring back some theories to share with everyone. I could, and I sorta did, but it's just not the same when I'm in this stage of being stuck in reality. While tripping, the universe literally appeared infront of me and gave me answers to questions that mankind itself has been searching to understand. It seems as if theres a higher being (lets call it god) made psychadelic hallucination drugs to be NATURAL. And to think of it, hallucogenics are natural. Mushrooms are natural, LSD is natural, DMT.....etc. It seems like this highers being had a plan to create the universe and set everything out to flow naturally and evolve throughout the course of time. Maybe this higher being created pshycoactive hallucinogens on purpose, so that humans, and other living things can put these substances into thier body in order to extensively think and better understand the universe that was created. The more we become more connected with nature (eating shrooms, smoking cannabis), the better sense of reasoning and unfolding we seem to have.

Last night was a really crazy experience. It was Andrew's and James's first time shrooming ever. James just had a couple stems to chew on throughout a long course of time, and he still felt it and had almost the same deep thinking in the way I did. Major philosophical thoughts and deep universal thinking. I've shroomed many times before, but last night's trip was most intense. And I liked it. More than anything I ever tried before. My emotions were all within my control, yet at the same time they weren't. Last night completely relieved me of all the stress in my life. Right now, stress is not even an emotion I can feel anymore. Because of last night, my mind is now thinking A LOT more optimistically. I hope this feeling lasts forever.

I strongly pity anyone who would do a hallucinogenic drug just for the visuals. Everyone needs to take in consideration the logical reasons that would come to them so naturally. Now I know why my dad did acid a lot. His young lief was like mine. Stuff always bothered him and stressed him out, that he couldn't take reality anymore. He proceeded in life the right way, and studied at berkley for 15 years while getting a masters degree in biology and genetic engineering. Coincidentally, at the same time he was studying, he was chronically using acid, shrooms, and smoking weed. Yet he still proceeded...and his successful outcomes didn't even exist until he first hand experienced halluginogens.

It seems like theres a reason why these phycoactive substances are all natural on this planet. Think about it..

15

Me and Roberto weree drunk as tits this morning. No homo though. High as a kite for the rest of the day, and somehow I ended up at home with nuthin to do.

I SAW PENNY TODAY!! =DDDDD I fukin missed her

14

Faded the whole day. Brownie, spliff, brownie, another jay. I barely remember the movies. I slept through them and they seemed really short to me.

Some people shouldn't be forgiven. And they need to be given a fukcin clue of what im trying to say.
Nothing can ever relieve me in the way spring break did.

13

Today was James's birthday, so OF COURSE I was fuckin blasted.

Ice Tea Kush.

Me and my dad watched this hour long special on the national geographic channel. The whole thing was about weed and its cultivation in California through documentaries and interviews. The ENTIRE time the show was going on, me and my dad were just going on and on and on about smoking stories. My dad is more of a sav than I thought he is. Blunts to the face back in the 80's, and like me on New Year Eve, he would end up on the floor at parties. XD . Some of the stories he told me got me laughin so hard I almost cried. Me and my dad really connected in this conversation, no homo. I wana smoke with him again, but I'm afraid of the awkwardness...

Quotes my dad said tonight that caught my attention:

*"I remember this one time I went to this one party after a gig, and we passed around this bong with about a half ounce between like....the 4 of us. The bong was about 3 feet tall, and we kept taking rips to see falls asleep last. Obviously we couldn't finish it all, but it was for the fun of it. After about 20 hits, I grabbed a glass of whiskey and said "DAMN, THIS DRINK TASTES FUCKING GREAT!" Next thing I know, I'm on the fuckin floor. Haha, don't end up like me."

* "Whatever you do, don't mess with anything made in a lab. Weed is great, mushrooms....maybe once in a while, DMT may be a litle extreme but its natural. Stay away from that damn ecstacy that you kids keep doing all the time..."

*"I remember back in the good old days when I could conserve buds to last me a whole week. Now I need 1 or 2 joints to myself to get the high I want..."

*"Why would the DEA spend over 17 million dollars to demolish marijuana when it saves lives? They should just keep the money and let poeple smoke their weed. Its killing two birds with one stone."

*"You should smoke with me and the band sometime. Steve just got a vaporizer and I can't think of a better invention since.."

- My dad

12

I succeed.

Today was maybe the first day my eyes were COMPLETELY opened to the power of sufficient truth. When one person doesn't know something about the other, I'm there to drop wisdom, honesty, protection for Christ's sake. I don't get disappointed, I aide those who need guidance. Tonight...was the perfect example. Another life I saved, another soul I fucking rescued. All because of ME. I feel satisfied.

This begins phase one.

I WANT SOME FUCKING ACID!!! LSD!!!!!!!!! =)))))

FACT: LSD does not destroy your brain. The long term affects that cause damage to the optic nerves and vision neurotransmitters can easily be reversed with antipsychoactive medications (under only RARE cases).

11

Today I thought about tons of shit.

I need to do better in school. Each of my grades are raising at this very second. And another thing, I'm done with amphetamines. Chronic use I mean. Once in a while is ok I guess, but the way I've been doing it is too dangerous. Both physically and emotionally.

Out of my own choice I've decided to be unique and do something I've always wanted to do. I want to experiment with hallucinagenics and psychadelics. It might give me a completely different outlook on life, and give me thoughts that could dig deep within each structure of every little thing I confront. It's by my own choice, not of influnce of any source. And I advise no other poeple to do it with me, as I don't wana act as an influence as well. If my mind gets fucked up, thats my fault. Leave me alone with it. I really don'tcare.

Shrooms to me are mild. So I'd rather increase my dosage. Salvia is short, but has no health risks whatsoever. Acid is what I'm looking for. My dad has been an acid head and has done it just enough or even MORE than each of the Beatles, and hes fine now. He still acts as though he has 100 percent of his brain. He's an actual genious, and has fullfiled his life challenges in the exact way I plan on to : Become a success and bring good, influences, and knowledge to several communities. Yea, my dad is a stoner / acid head, but that didn't stop him from becoming the success he is today. He has a masters degree in biology and genetic engineering and studied at UC Berkley for 15 years after graduation. He even became a professor for a brief period of time when I was much younger. All his studying was during his stoner/ acid period. So suck on that.

That brings me to the conclusion that drugs don't fuck with your brain. AMPHETAMINES DO. (ecstacy, cocaine, speed, crack.) set aside opiates because me and my dad know better than to do that shit. But after thinking a lot about it TODAY, my grades do suck because of ecstacy. They greatly distracted me from my schoolwork, and forced to procrastinate work constantly. I can work perfectly fine and efficiently high though...

Maybe it's me, but naturally I'm following the footsteps of my dad. If he hadn't told me about his drug years earlier in life, I probably still would have followed that road blindly without noticing our similarities. Maybe when I'm older, I'll end up something he is. I'll get a masters degree in something, or whatever...Hopefully psychology. I've always been EXTREMELY interested in that field. That's my main goal, as a matter of fact...

I need a haircut really bad. And I haven't skated in....god knows how long. The rain just fucks me up more.

My grades are better. I'm still failing english because of that one faggot.....but o well. Might as well raise it or tell him to get his lying sonovabitch ass to tell my english teacher the truth about him fucking with my project grade.

10

Writting for yesterday....

Tee wanted to be the first one to smoke the salvia, but I forced everyone into not doing it until i started tripping first. I wanted to smoke just a little bit of weed so when I'd hit the salvia, I'd be a little less anticipated and scared, but more of not caring whats going to happen. I got just a little high, packed the salvia, and ran over to the bed. I made everyone stay at the couch, because I wanted to prevent having a bad trip, so I isolated myself. I hit the salvia once, held it in for 30 seconds, breathed out, and looked around. the ceiliing and walls were melting very very slowly, but nothing out of the ordinary that would set it aside from shrooms. I decided I wasn't tripping hard enough so I hit the bong 3 more times with salvia then sat down. My mucles then went completely numb and I felt like I was completely seperated from my body. I layed on the bed and starred at the ceiling. After starring for some time, I noticed James's lights that were scattered throughout the ceiliing. To me, one light was bright red, another light was bright green, and another was dark blue. I was hella confused about the colors. When I kept starring at the ceiliing the whole thing seemed like a completely different world. For a while, it looked at f it were a ceiliing drawn in a cartoon. Like it was a whole universe set aside from say the couch or the bed I was laying on. I felt like I was PART of the bed. My whole body felt like it was stuck in time, or stuck in frozen air thats been preserved for years. I was extremely confused. I forgot who I was, and who everyone else was, and where I was. then I got up and sat upright on the bed. I looked at the walls and the door, and they were both melting really clowly, and dancing in a wavy way. It looked interesting, but my brain was too dumb at the time to even process it. Then this is the part that freaks me out, my head starts turning by itself to the right, then all of a sudden it couldn't stop turning. My head kept turning and turning and turning at a PERFECT rhythm. This went on for about ten minutes. I was scarred and tried to make poeple help me by turning me a different way or pulling me aside the opposite direction, but it wouldn't work. I just kept turning. I kept yelling over and over "I can't stop turning!" But for several instances I couldn't talk right. I'd think oif a sentence in my head and when I'd say it all the words would either be mixed up, or I'd replace one of the words with another word that made it even more difficult to understand. Finally I stopped turning, and I kinda considered my trip to be over.

I was jealous of Tee and Mac because thier trips seemed more insane than mine, and they each only took 1 hit.....and I took like 4 big ones and 1 massive one I coughed on....Tee tripped out really hard, and described the trip as constant spinning and trying to find a way to pull himself out of a sucking hole. Mac described his trip as the whole room took the same background as this painting he kept starring at the wall. I knew they tripped harder than me because they couldn't keep balance. I couldn't keep balance as good either, but at times I still found myself walking.

Hookah, and weed. Nothing else more to say. This salvia trip was much different from the one I had last year. The one last year was mostly a state of mindset other than visuals. But this salvia trip on the opther hand was more about uncontrollable body movements and MILD visuals. I really hope to try it again. But I really want to do it without the help of any weed. For a while I couldn't tell if I was tripping or just extremely blazed. All in the end, it WAS the salvia.

9

Today sucked. It was terrible. I found out some stuff that really changed my perspective of a few individuals. I'm basically mad, disappointed, and everything inbetween. I don't understand the psychology of some selected people in the world who just don't give a fuck for someone who cared for them so much. Fuck personal heirarchy. It doesn't even exist in my eyes.

I have to thank Nicole though. Shes a really big help to me in this kinda situation. Janessa and Mia too. But epecially Nicole.

Who cares though. I kinda do. Afterall, I manage to not be sober somehow every single day just so I can forget about shit. Hahaha, fuck you, and its fun too. But still, theres so many positive outcomes with weed, emotionally. Fuck pills. Just the slightest bit of any kidna emotion, and its multiplied by fukin at LEAST 100 times stronger. Yeah, fuck pills.....for now.

At least I'll have a mind journey trip tomorow. SALVIA DIVINORUM!!!! I just opened the pack to see how it looks, and it smells like fresh tea. i got enough for about 2-3 trips. I can't wait. Usually I'd be kinda hesitant about that shit, but fuck it. Not like I care about anything right now anyways. XD And fuck you, even though salvia is intesnse, I've read all over the place that theres NO HEALTH RISKS whatsoever. Not in the brain, lungs, or respiratory system. I think the worst that could possibly happen is if someone gets too scared and possibly trumatized. But thats not me though. Its a 5-10 minute trip, who cares. -_- And since theres no health risks, I can abuse it =D . But I'd choose not to because its the strongest hallucination drug known to mankind, and that would be kinda silly If i was dependent on that stuff..

Fuck pills though. Iv'e never had my emotions fucked with more than pills. Even though I heard acid is the most emotion shifting drug there is in the world, thats hard to believe to me.

Damn, I need to skate. its been a while...

And a haircut.

AND NEW HEADPHONES.

8

Wow. My day didn't officially start until i popped my pill in the middle of math. I've been on since. Fuck, right when I notice that right now would be a terrible time to pop (since it intensifies and fucks with my natural emotions), I do it anyways. And it was worse. I barely felt happy, and whatever feelings of me beeing down were a lot more intense. My brain was friend again today, just like my birthday, but not THAT bad.

Picked up a pack of salvia..-__- IM READYY FOR THIS!!! =D

7

Fuck the dentist. They made my gums bleed. A lot.... And today i guess marks the first day in MONTHS that THC hasn't entered my bloodstream. Ask if i care. xD

6

I guess the whole point of making a blogspot was to show to everyone that I have multiple lives OUTSIDE of just smoking weed. But uh, this site happened to get to me at a bad time. I been tokin daily, don't ask why. Just seems extremely necessary at the moment. I picked up a gram on the way home, and got one of them nifty super "Bob Marley sized"rolling papers, which is like the size of 4 regular zags. One joint and a few bong bowls was enough for me. Blasted at James"s house. Went home, pretty much blacked out since....and now here I am. HAven't really became lazier or forgot anything. I got alll my money for tomroow in order, my homeworks done, and permission slip signed. I'm fukin done for tonight.


I'm hella depending on a high score for the STAR testing. I took the math today and 90 percent of it Im somewhat sure of I got correct. Im hoping for at least a 4, cuz if it was that my math grade goes up one whole letter grade, which means I wouldnt be failing and thats one F down i have to deal with. I have 2 Fs at the moment, which is one less then what I need to go straight to Thorton. Keep your fingers crossed with me.

My dad keeps going on and on how when i turn 18 i gotta "get the fuck outa the house and find a place to stay." I have no idea whether he's serious or not, but it scares me. It's only 1 more year away, and I still look like I'm 12. Like when people see I don't expect them to look at me and expect I'm an adult. I don't know where I'd stay, but if all else fails I'll move in temporarily with my Uncle Jimbo, or my grandparents or something. I never talked to any of them about it, but theyre really close and I know they'd do it if I needed them to. 1 year away, what the fuck?

I need acid. salvia, w/e.

I really need a haircut too. I'm like a little bit past the stage where I like it at a certain longer length, now it's just too long. I love the feeling of taking the first shower with cut hair. Its a lot more comfortable the shorter it is. FUK





I hate my "bicept" joints. I cant help but roll like this everytime.

and we found out it is VERY possible for a cat to get high.

5

Im gona start doing what Andrew does and Im gona number my entires. cuz it takes too long to make one up. So Im like ahead a few seconds. xD .
Nothing going on today. I dedicate 100 percent of my time today to help out Janessa and make her feel better. Because like me, theres always something wrong. Us 2 are so much alike you dont even know it. No one really understands us. Its kidna impossible for me to care for someone else mroe than i do her. She literally is like the biggest part of my life, and im not exagurating. .. Sooooo yea, I really thought that was worth putting in. My day is pretty much towards her at the moment,

I wana repeat spring break....like 10 more times...=(


Words been goin around today that my son (kristen) got in some kinda unfair rough housing. some fatty fight at Ben. The bitch pulled out brass knuckles and fucked up my son! motehrfucker..... im praying shes aight tho. Im not about to lose a child. I wasn't even there. How bad of a father I am...=P

4

ello. Im pretty lit right now, so i can't really tell you what happened today. Thank god for Dereck Dimarko though. xD. Hm i dont know what to say. its been a good day. i guess. We got like a million funny ass pics of Andrew tho. XD. godamn im baked like a pizza. il talk to everyone some other time.,

haha its weird how i get some weird ass thoughts when im baked like this. i get that thing where id think about a person, and that person would seem like hella unreal to me. like a character in a movie i never seen before. thats when i know I'm having a good high.

Damn, I haven'tbeen happy since like.....spring break. OH jesus tity fuking christ that was such a jolly time. back when everyday felt like a day better than summer. Back when everyone was hella cool with eachother. there were no problems around like there are now...=/ o well, that part of the year is gone now. FUCK ME!!! hookah sesh gone BAD tonight. today was like a 5 outa 10.



andrew's "hippie hill" pose

hell y33


dont fuck with us

1

yeaaaaa....community service. skipped again. xD 3 months now. FUCK THE LIBRARY! FUCK COMMUNITY SERVICE. il prolby end up makin the shit up in summer . sober all day today =0 holy dick in mouth.

hahahaha my life is shit right now. im starting to think i got fuked by sum1. if u knew me youd kno who im talkin about. dont make any guesses, if u kno then u kno and if u dont then u dont. um other than that i just been hella down all the time, hella hoping ms holland and bruce get off my ass and no one frames me to get kicked out OHS. =( i need to bring my english grade up, and erverything will be gravy. no matter how bad this sounds, i jjus cant wait to smoke some yummy herb tomorow from james's bong =D

haha theres like a billion things thats good about being high as tits. creativity increases, more laughter and GREAT, INTELLIGENT conversation. munchies (which is good for me cuz i have a eating disorder). and the best of all, if anything or ANYONE (especially peoeple that hurt me) is on my mind, i just blaze and those people dont even seem like people to me. they seem like characters in another person's dream. xD like theyre made up or something. then id think like "wait, who the fuk was that again? when did i meet her? holy tits, WHO IS SHE? do i know her?" XD i love that. MORE OF THAT TOMOROW!! <3

fuck me hard

wat it dew dew? its 2 days after 420.....prety loaded. um....someone snitched on me yesterday soooooooooooooooooo i get searched everyday now. if i get caught i gota go leave, and if i get 2 more F's im goin straight to thorton...=( its aright tho, my grades are aight. im only failing english cuz of fukin U KNO WHO. >=(. im tryna bring it up tho. my other grades are fine. lets see um............spring break was the fukin best, especially that last monday. and uh....idk this shits a good time killer.

today i was hela down like always. after skool we gots hela heads finna go rip a bong, then i came home hungry as jesus and ate everything in sight. Y33333.

i love you

fuck me hard

y33. i made a blogspot to kill boredom.....kk....so wtf did i dew dew today?...um idk, but i was high as fuck yesterday. but uhh today, im not sure. in a few hours im bout to go to pick up some izzles from my boy, possibly skate, or get some new wheels if i have the money for it. =D