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It's amazing how much you analyze for the first 10-30 minutes after you wake up in the morning. The first thing that hits me is thinking about what JUST happened yesterday, during the day, ,and last night. Followed by a long single thought about my life. And something hit me when I woke up today from a night of getting tucked on nearly 6 grams.

Like I think about how people see me, compared to what I feel. Like out in public, everyone sees me as some happy ass little kid whos always high, thizzed outa his mind. Everyday where I'm out is always fun to me, but like at home is a different story. Think of all those pills I took my whole life. Pure seratonin releasers. My seratonin is at a minimum, and you'd think since its a general mental thing, you could have somewhat control over it, but i really don't at all. My brain isn't even done developing because I'm still so young.

Because I lost so much, I have like a different feeling than I did say a year ago. You know that feeling you get when your stuck at home while everyone is out having the times of thier lives, its foggy and rainy outside, and no one will call or text you? I have that feeling 24/7, even when i AM having a good time. Thats some fat seratonin loss.

So I'm just saying....I fucked up. Don't do what I did.

I sound hella emo but I'm not. Just trying to explain my world compared to yours.

Did you know THC temporarily exterminates you body's or mind's need for seratonin?

Damn. Saw a youtube video yesterday of some old ass German guy taking the biggest bong hits ever. He packed a bowl with 5 grams in it....no lie, and killed it in 1 hit. =0